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[28 Feb 2006|12:36pm] |
Bethany...If you are at work and read this, I need to talk to you...:-)
xxxFallen420: hey whats up
Leach 18 05: uh, not much...who is this?
xxxFallen420: um someone i know u but u dont know me
xxxFallen420: but i need to ask u a serious ???
Leach 18 05: no no wait
Leach 18 05: i want to know who you are first.
xxxFallen420: was chris sipes the smallest dick u have ever did anything with or what
Leach 18 05: who are you?
Leach 18 05: then i'll answer that question.
xxxFallen420: johnny
xxxFallen420: an ex friend of chris;s
xxxFallen420: i was in the yard with him that day u and someone else came up and he turned the truck around
Leach 18 05: yeah well why arent you and him friends anymore because i find this hard to believe
xxxFallen420: well cause he likes to run his mouth and lie and run from me and wont fight me so im takin a pole to find out how many ppl thinks he has a verry verry verry small dick
Leach 18 05: well let me tell you that for one, your young and still don't realize that it has nothing to do with size and no chris isn't small and no matter how much him and i hate each other, i wouldn't spread rumors about him, that isn't me...and if someone has told you that he is small, apparently they haven't had enough experience to know otherwise...average is 6 and he is above average, although this really isn't anyone's business
xxxFallen420: well see the thing chris slept with one of my ex girlfriends friends and in the middle she told him to get the fuck off cause his dick was to small to do e thing with so there for u must be the one with no expierience and if u do have expierience it is cause i drink alot and the guys are to drunk to realize what there doing because if they was sober then i dont think u would have any expieriance unless it was with chris
Leach 18 05: see, there your wrong, but either way, i don't have time to put up with childish games...the whole dick thing, yeah, your immature and you need to grow up, and as for chris sipes, he is my past and thats all he'll EVER be...and why your IMing me trying to start shit is WAYYYY beyond me...
Leach 18 05: i'm 20 years old, i don't play highschool games.
xxxFallen420: well im not in high school
xxxFallen420: im on my way to college
Leach 18 05: yeah good luck on that one, i think you need to grow up a little first, no offence or anything...but ya know, comparing penis sizes is something boys did in seventh grade...chris knows what he's doing when he wants to, and that really isn't any of your business.
Leach 18 05: and i know how chris works, he probably set you up to do this to see if i would bad mouth him, and well i'm not doing it
xxxFallen420: well ash said that it verry small also and i have around 6 7 8 9 maby to or 20 ppl that say he is ur the first that said big
xxxFallen420: and i dont talk to chris im tellin u
xxxFallen420: add csipes is gau
xxxFallen420: no spaces
xxxFallen420: thats me
xxxFallen420: gay*
Leach 18 05: well either way he's average so yeah...but anyhow, chris penis doesn't mean anything to me, so lets just let this conversation lie.
xxxFallen420: i heard he wanted u back
xxxFallen420: has he talked to u lately
Leach 18 05: fuck that..
xxxFallen420: he said that ur the only one that never turned ur back on him
Leach 18 05: whatever.
xxxFallen420: im serious
Leach 18 05: welll good for him
Leach 18 05: brb
xxxFallen420: well i think u should talk to him
Leach 18 05: eh, don't think i want to...he knows how to get ahold of me.
xxxFallen420: ok
xxxFallen420: i was just wondering
Leach 18 05: yeah well if you hate him so much, why are you doing this
xxxFallen420: i dunno
xxxFallen420: if u want him ### its --- --- ----
Leach 18 05: thats nice
Leach 18 05: like i said, he knows how to get ahold of me.
xxxFallen420: well he broke his cell over the summer and had to get a neww one so he might have lost ur ## u should try and get ahold of him
xxxFallen420: he just got off work and prolly be glad to talk to you
Leach 18 05: yeah, okay
xxxFallen420: seriously
Leach 18 05: he can find a way if he wants to talk to me that damn bad, but either way, you like hate him right now...so yeah
xxxFallen420: u dont even know how much he opened up to me about u he really likes u
Leach 18 05: like i give a shit anymore
Leach 18 05: wtf do you want, seriously?
xxxFallen420: i want you to call chris and make him happy so that he wont get mad and beat me up anymore
Leach 18 05: omg i am NOT calling chris
xxxFallen420: please
xxxFallen420: i dont wanna get beat up
Leach 18 05: listen, if he's going to beat you up i'm not going to be able to stop that...chris and i said what needed to be said, and its over and done with...if he wants to talk to me, i'm sure he can find me...both of my home lines are in the phone book and my cell phone is always posted on here...so yeah...
xxxFallen420: i deleted everyone off his list and changed the password his new s/n is ----------
xxxFallen420: u should just talk to him 4 me
Leach 18 05: and as far as that goes, no matter what this is, i can guarentee that he does NOT want to talk to me.
xxxFallen420: i dont wanna get beat up
xxxFallen420: please
Leach 18 05: then you can IM him and give him my fucking screen name
xxxFallen420: :'(
xxxFallen420: im gonna get beat up over this cause u wont take 5 min outta ur time to call him and say 2 words to him
xxxFallen420: like hi bye
Leach 18 05: i'm not doing it, i'm sorry...i told him i'd let him be, thats what he wanted so thats what i'm doing...
Leach 18 05: its not my fault your getting beat up
xxxFallen420: please
xxxFallen420: im beggin u
Leach 18 05: dude, it isn't my fault
xxxFallen420: :'(
xxxFallen420: :'(
xxxFallen420: please
Leach 18 05: and for gods sake i'm sure that the people we graduated with pissed him off more then you
Leach 18 05: and he didn't go on a beating spree
xxxFallen420: did u see that face thats what i look ike
xxxFallen420: :-[
xxxFallen420: thats what ill look like if u dont talk to him
Leach 18 05: oh my god...i'm not IMing him, so yeah forget it...i'm sorry but definately not.
xxxFallen420: but with bruses
Leach 18 05: oh christ
xxxFallen420: please
Leach 18 05: can't do it, sorry
xxxFallen420: please
xxxFallen420: im beggin u
Leach 18 05: wtf, in the beginning of this conversation you said you were beating him up, now he's beating you up? seriously, you need to get your story straight...if this is suppose to be like shits and giggles, the jokes on you because i'm not IMing chris or calling him...
xxxFallen420: please
xxxFallen420: he beat me up onece
xxxFallen420: im not fightin him again
Leach 18 05: oh my god...no...i'm not doing it.
xxxFallen420: he is to strong
Leach 18 05: listen, my final answer is no...he knows how to get ahold of me and whatever, end of conversation.
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| G double R. |
[19 Feb 2006|06:16pm] |
Life...Full of ups and downs...
I don't see my friends much anymore, and sometimes I think it pisses everyone off...However, I do still use my phone and call them...
Things with Joshua are great, and I couldn't be happier...He treats me great and I love him, thats all ANYONE needs to know...
I know I'm bullheaded and stubborn, but sometimes it is like no one around me wants me to be happy, but guess what...I AM...
Friend life is still there, but not as much as it used to be...I miss it, however we are all always busy...
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[23 Jan 2006|02:26pm] |
Why is it that my Mother just has this way of making me feel like shit?
I'm happy with Josh, why can't she just understand that and let it be. But no, she has to make me feel like shit. It is like I'm not suppose to be happy, or she doesn't want me happy. She asked me today why what he thinks is more important then what she does. Well, maybe because I'm happy and it seems for the past few relationships I've had, I've broken up with them because she makes me miserable, but this one is different. I want to be with Josh, now, forever. Sometimes it just feels like she wakes up in the morning and says "So, Amber is happy today. Let's ruin it and make her cry and feel like shit". Josh is suppose to be here in 30 minutes, and I look like hell because I've been crying for the past hour. I tried to call him and tell him I'd just come up there, because I know he isn't going to be comfortable here, but apparently he had already left. She thinks that just because Madisyn is 5 months old, and he has supervised visitation that he is like, horrible or something and she keeps saying she doesn't understand it. Well, I know exactly why it's that way, I have read ALL the court papers, and like I told her today, it isn't any of her business. So what, he has a past? Who doesn't? We all know that her daughter isn't perfect, and by no means is she perfect either. Like, I just wish she would put trust in me for once that I chose correctly, and with time she'll see that and I realize she wants the best for me, but when she is acting like this it's just going to make me hate her in the end. I just wish that someone would talk to her, reassure her that for once I'm happy and know what I'm doing. I actually have my head on straight and know what I want and where I want to be in life, but apparently that isn't good enough, nothing is good enough.
I love him.
The end...
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| Ahhh hell.. |
[29 Dec 2005|11:02pm] |
So it's been awhile since I've updated.
Michael came home on Thursday night, however, it wasn't until Monday night that I got to see him. Things were pretty hectic with work and Christmas.
Christmas was good. Yes, indeed it was. I got my digital camera and my necklace that I wanted. I got other things as well, but they were what I wanted the most.
I've worked constantly. It sucks, but pays bills.
Michael and I spent a great evening together on Monday night. I loved it, and I missed him. I missed him SOOOOO DAMN MUCH! It's hard to believe I went FIVE, yes FIVE weeks without seeing him and god only knows when he gets home this time. Yes, it sucks. But it was well worth it! hehe
I found something on Monday night that should definitely make me not trust him, but for some reason, I think he was telling me the truth even though I got like opinions of 18 other guys haha. But, I don't know, for some reason I believe him and even if he is lying to me, I haven't exactly been perfect either, so that would be okay.
I got to feel Miranda kick for the first time today. I almost pissed my pants. I mean, I've been trying to feel her kick for like 2 months now and today I actually felt it! Bethany and I were sitting in the living room and she said that she was moving around a lot so I was watching and I saw her move too. Bethany said my face was priceless, but it was awesome, infact I almost cried! Then I actually felt her kick. It was definately something I won't forget. Can't wait until she's born, I just hope Bethany and I aren't up to no good when she goes into labor. How bout it BeeJ?
Betsy, Hayden, Jeff and I went to Altoona on Tuesday. We went for wings, and to see Lights On the Lake. It was fun.
Tuesday night I stayed with Bethany, and ended up staying Wednesday as well so that I could go to Altoona with her this morning. We always have interesting trips and this one was just as interesting!
Bethany = Best friend. Love her x's 10!
Found some stuff out from Ash the other day that really pissed me off, but oh well. That person will learn!
Talked to Paul on Monday. We are stealing him on Tuesday, he has NO choice at all:)Fucker BETTER be home!
Well, thats all for now, I'm tired and I need to call Mike...
NIGHT NIGHT!
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[22 Dec 2005|01:25am] |
I'm pissed.
When I'm pissed, I can't sleep.
I don't really know why I'm pissed. I guess a few things added to it, I'm not sure.
I need a vacation. A vacation from life.
I wish Mike was home, but he doesn't come home until tomorrow, and even then I probably won't go see him because I'm stubborn and a bitch.
Why can't I let go of some things? I have not a clue, but I do know that stupid people piss me off to the extreme.
Why do I get myself into things that I can't handle?
Why do I hate everyone that is a picture of my past?
Why am I asking all these STUPID questions?
The end. Good-night.
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[16 Dec 2005|11:31pm] |
So Mike and I got into it again tonight. Why? Well because it just isn't going to work between us. He said that he was going to Tennessee over Christmas to see Christopher, but I know he's actually going to see Tiffany. It pisses me off too because I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving. Oh, he also said tonight about how he doesn't want his Christmas gifts and all that shit, so I was like fine. It doesn't matter because him and I will never work anyways. I'm not an alcoholic, and I refuse to date another one. I also do not partake in drugs, and well, god ONLY KNOWS what he does....
End.
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[10 Dec 2005|11:48am] |
Wow..I just got done going through some stuff on my computer..I found a bunch of conversations that Chris and I had way back when..It was kind of weird actually, to read through that stuff and then look at how things ended up..
It was weird that I would find this stuff today too because on Thursday I was going to school and I happened to look in my rearview mirror and Chris was on my ass in the Cavy..I use to enjoy seeing the Cavy follow me, but not Thursday..I don't think he realized who it was either considering that he doesn't know my new vehicle..
I forgot to mention in my last update that on Wednesday Paul came to Bethany's with me for a little bit. It was good to know that things are okay between us, and that was the closure on this summer that I needed..
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[09 Dec 2005|11:17pm] |
Since I'm home at a decent time...I might as well do a short update...
Monday - I'm sure Bethany and I did something, I don't really remember what. Dad and I went to Altoona and got new tires for the Jeep...Some weird mexican called me and now won't leave me alone.
Tuesday - Kev didn't come home so I stayed with Bethany...It was DEFINITELY an interesting night...We called Adam, but he was working on the car, so then we called my FAVORITE from the Carbon Township region and eventually talked his punk ass into coming up to Everett to see us! He's sooooo cute, we just can't take it!
It was funny because we weren't sure that he was going to show up, we actually figured he'd stand us up so we ended up calling my Mom to see if he was online and he was, so Bethany and I left for Sheetz while talking to Mom on the phone who was trying to talk to him on AOL, and we went past the BP (where he was to meet us at) and I freaked out because he was walking across the parking lot. Of course, my Mom says "Whats wrong" and I was like "Nevermind he's in fucking Vert!!" and then realized it was my MOM I was talking to...Definitely funny times!
D - "Okay, so you don't think I get dirty and you make fun because when I was in school I wore prep clothes...Do you think I'm gay or what?"
"Oh okay Leach"
Oh how we LOVE it...I can't believe he fell off the ladder though!!!
Wednesday - School, work...Thats about it...
Thursday - School, work, same routine as Wednesday...
Today - No school, WORK, Gram's then home...
Other then Tuesday, my week was rather boring...
Ohhhh ohhhh wait....Mike decided he was going to call me tonight, then yell at me because I was talking to my friends at work after I was off the clock...But yet, its okay for him to go a week without calling me? What the fuck ever...I hope he stays in Virginia and doesn't come home...
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[05 Dec 2005|09:52pm] |
Well, it never fails..When I actually find a guy that I like, and I mean really like and get close to, I end up getting hurt. Sometimes I think I should just give up for awhile, but I never was the type of person to just give up.
My first true love is getting married. Bethany and I saw him the other night. He is happy, and I am happy for him. I thought that when the day came for Jeremy to get married, I would be really upset, but I'm not. He's happy, thats all that matters.
Mike...Where do I even begin? Things were so great over Thanksgiving. That all changed though. I haven't talked to him in 3 days, and I left him a message last night telling him I just wanted to see how he was and that I would tell him to call me back but I know that he won't. Yeah, he hasn't called me. I really liked him, and I actually got close to him, like really close to him. In some ways, I was closer to him then I ever was Jason, but yeah, to sum up that story. BOYS SUCK.
Life goes on, and I'm moving on.
Two weeks left of school, then hopefully going to visit my second Daddy at his beach house since Bethany and I got that SPECIAL invite to Virginia!!!! So cited...I wish we could find a way for Bethany to go!
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[03 Dec 2005|11:14am] |
Michael never called me back last night like he was suppose to...I think I'm a little pissed about it...I left him a message at 1 this morning telling me if he didn't want to talk to me, just to tell me...
He isn't coming home for 2 weeks...That pisses me off even more...
Yesterday was weird, definitely weird...First the cow, then CDS, then the "T-Klan" calling us, then Adam coming over with me..
Adam is hott...If I didn't like Mike so much, I think I would definitely have a thing for Adam...
I have to work today...I need money...
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[28 Nov 2005|11:48am] |
Icky. It is an ugly day out today. Makes me sick.
I have to work tonight, Brian Zapola is going down! I have a doctor's appointment Thursday night to get my pills so that Amber can have NO babies, but I can't go because thats right, I have to WORK! This will be like my third week with no pills.
Mike better watch himself! hehe
Speaking of, I went over there last night after work for like 15 minutes. He was tired, so I left. It sucked though because I won't get to see him now until Friday night, if then.
Bobbi Jo and I went to Ressler's Saturday night when I was there, and we were talking about Mike and I told her that I like him and stuff, but don't know where the dating situation will end up. I don't know her well, but from what I know, she probably ran her mouth to him about it. Oh well.
I worked with some of the summer girls this weekend, like Tessa, Donna Jay, Monica and Bernie. Donna makes me laugh, she's great! So do the other girls. It was good to see Monica too. I haven't seen her since graduation!
Well, I need to get my ass to class. Fun fun.
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[27 Nov 2005|11:25am] |
Thursday was Thanksgiving, it wasn't bad other then Dustin and I fighting.
I ended up going to Mike's around 6:30 and stayed until a little after one. When I got home, there wasn't even a point in going to bed because I had to be back up at 3:15 to get ready to go shopping since they decided we would leave at 4 instead of 4:45. So yeah, I didn't sleep. I shopped until 1, but I was tired so went home and then rest of the group went to like Target and stuff. I got some pretty nice stuff though, although Mike doesn't like my new PJ's.
Friday night I worked, then went to Mike's afterwards. We hung out at Bobbi Jo's for awhile, then went to the Sundown to get some of my favorite;) but I was too tired, drank one then ended up falling asleep at Bobbi's. We eventually went back over to his place where I fell asleep until 6 in the AM.
At 6, I rolled over and he wasn't in bed, so it freaked me out. He had told me when I got up that morning that he slept in the spare room because I was snoring. HAHA. Oh well, he'll live.
So, last night I worked then went to Mike's because Josh Morgan was there. So, we watched movies and reminiced a little. Josh has a daughter now, she is three months old. She is the cutest thing EVER! I think I got home a little after 4 this morning.
Now I'm going to do an application for the housing service at Allegany, then I'm going to start my psych. paper.
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[24 Nov 2005|06:18pm] |
Thanksgiving was okay. Dustin pissed me off so I went upstairs and slept for 3 hours this afternoon, plus, I didn't feel good.
Mike came home last night from work:) I was excited, I went up afterwards.
I guess I really haven't updated on that. Things are pretty good between us, I don't know where it's going to end up, but things are definitely good:)
Shopping in the AM...We are leaving at 4:45. It's really going to suck!
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[12 Nov 2005|10:23am] |
I am just now getting home from work......I left work last night at 10 haha.
A lot has happened since I last updated.
Things seem to be pretty good here. Michael and I are on the understanding that we are just friends, and I occasionally go up to see him. But, for the most part, I have been spending my time with Chad.
Chad is Jared's brother. Jared is dating Sara. Yes, Sara Mortimore as in Jason's sister. I use to work with Chad and Jared, up until like last week when they both decided to walk out.
Wednesday night I stayed with them. Chad is a cool kid, not a typical guy which has definetely been proven a plus.
Thursday morning Bethany called me with the results of the baby. She is gonna be having a girl. No baby Joanas for me. Instead it is a Johanas! Haha. Anywho, I left Chad's to go to Bethany's and I wasn't even there 5 minutes and he called asking if I was mad at him since I left. Was not mad, thats for sure!
So Thursday night he wanted me to come over, but by the time I got off work he was already asleep.
Last night they called me when I was walking out the door and asked me to stop down that Chad wanted to talk to me, so I went down and picked Chad up and we went to get gas in my car. He then decided that we should go out, so we went to the Gateway and played pool for awhile, then went to Bedford and came back home. I ended up just staying there because it was one and I didn't feel like driving home.
He is a sweet guy, not quite my type but someone that is definetely fun to hang out with.
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| I love this song! |
[05 Nov 2005|12:11pm] |
Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go
No baby, no baby, no baby no
Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go
My baby boy...
Just let it die
With no goodbyes
Details don't matter
We both paid the price
Tears in my eyes
You know sometimes
It'd be like that baby
Now everytime
I see you
I pretend
I'm fine
When
I wanna reach out to you
But
I turn and
I walk and
I let it ride
Baby
I must confess
We were bigger than anything
Remember us at our best
And don't forget about
Late nights, playin' in the dark
And wakin' up inside my arms
Boy, you'll always be in my heart and
I can see it in your eyes
You still want it
So don't forget about us
I'm just speaking from experience
Nothing can compare to your first true love
So
I hope this will remind you
When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us
Oh they say
That you're in a new relationship
But we both know
Nothing comes close to
What we had, it perseveres
That we both can't forget it
How good we used to get it
There's only one me and you
And how we used to shine
No matter what you go through
We are one, that's a fact
That you can't deny
So baby we just can't let
The fire pass us by
Forever we'd both regret
So don't forget about
And if she's got your head all messed up now
That's the trickery
She'll wanna have like you know how this lovin' used to be
I bet she can't do like me
She'll never be
ME
Baby don't you, don't you forget about us
Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go
No baby, no baby, no baby no
Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go
When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us.
-Mariah Carey
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[05 Nov 2005|11:58am] |
It has been an up and down week.
For the most part, Michael and I decided just to be friends. There are a few things that influenced this decision, but the biggest part on my side was something he did, not to mention the drugs and alcohol he likes to consume.
Everyone who knows me, should know by now that I'm very anti drugs. So yeah, that clashed.
I hung out with Sara, Jared and Chad the other day. Yeah, Chad is pretty hott:-)He is kind of a chunkier version of Jared and definitely looks better then Jared since Chad doesnt weigh like 100 pounds dripping wet!
After work last night, I went and saw Ricky. I haven't seen him in ages! Good times there.
I called Kelly yesterday to check up on how court went. God love that girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[02 Nov 2005|12:24pm] |
Michael called me at 9 last night. We talked for awhile, then he decided to finish his project and told me he would call me back in a few minutes. Half an hour later, I called him back. We talked for a few more minutes then told me he would call me right back. Yeah, at 11 I called him to tell him that Dad and I were fighting and that I was going to bed. He told me that I should come up, so I did.
I was pissed when I got there because he was at his neighbors, and not at home. When he did come home, we had to go to Ressler's to get cigarettes. Then, when we got back, I layed down and went to bed because he was so messed up that it was like I didn't even exist. He kept asking me if I wanted him to make me something to eat, but I had already ate. He finally layed down and went to sleep, and yeah like every hour he was up and it woke me up because he couldn't walk and kept running into shit!
This morning he got up at 8:30, so when he crawled back in bed I put my arm around him and he fell back asleep so I got up and got ready for school then crawled back in bed at 9. I fell asleep and ended up waking up at 9:45 with just enough time to get to school. So I got up and put my shoes on and he woke up and was like "What are you doing?" and I was like "I'm leaving, I have to go to school." and he was like "Okay, well have a good day" and hugged me. It kind of pissed me off, so I just looked at him and said "Oh, you decide to touch me now...When I'm leaving?" and I left.
I don't agree with the stuff he does. I mean, he didn't do any of it in front of me but I knew as soon as I got there that he was messed up. It pissed me off, I'm not dating another Jason, I refuse.
There is a huge difference though....Mike treats me good, and he isn't like Jason at all (minus the drinking and shit)..Mike is a gentleman, and I like him, but somethings have to change before it goes any further..
On to new news. I am sitting in school. Paul is sitting beside me and he was trying to talk to me and I just ignored him because thats what I'm good at.
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[01 Nov 2005|09:21pm] |
Life around here is hectic. I sometimes just wish everything would disappear.
Although, I got wonderful news on Sunday night.
Sara called me and told me that one of Jared's friends wanted to meet me. So I was like, thats cool give him my number.
Well, he ended up calling me and we talked for 4 hours.
I went up to his house yesterday after school and stayed there from 2 - 10. Well, I was getting ready to leave and he had a bad earache so I told him I'd take him up to the hospital to see if they could give him something for it and I would just stay there then.
So we went up to the hospital, then ended up coming home. God love him though, Michael was soo sick and he was still enough of a gentleman to open up my doors and close them for me:-)
He seriously is the sweetest thing in my life right now, and last night was great. It is good to not feel pressured and to just be able to lay in bed and watch movies all night.
We never fell asleep until 5 this morning, and I was suppose to be up at 9:45 but his alarm clock didn't go off, so I woke up around 11 and got ready and went to my Gram's, then to school.
Like everyone, there are some things that we don't agree on and there are some things that he does that I don't like, but we'll work around it if it is suppose to be.
Oh, and his pet "Poison Ivy"...Yeah, she is definitely a tarantula. Did I mention that I HATE spiders, let alone big furry ones?! So what does Mike decide to do? Oh yeah, take her out of her cage and put her on the bed with me. Almost shit my pants. He kept saying "Touch her, she won't hurt you" and I just looked at him and said "Mike, if I see a spider the size of a kernal of corn, I tramp on it. Imagine what I would do to her if you put her on me." He laughed, only because he knew I wouldn't do that, and I know he wouldn't put her on me.
He's so sweet, and so........Me.....:)
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[28 Oct 2005|12:44pm] |
Your great at your guilt trips. Why I felt bad through all that, I don't know.
Why am I writing this in here instead of telling it to everyone's face?
MAYBE, just MAYBE because your too afraid to call me back because you know I'm slightly pissed off.
That was wrong, no matter what the reason. You could have told me sooner.
Seriously, I don't give a shit what ANYONE says, but if it wasn't for Chuck, I have no clue what I would do sometimes.
Like, the other day when 220 North was closed down on my way from Cumberland, I had to find another way home (I don't know any other ways home). So, I called Jason just because I knew he would know. Well, he gave me the wrong turn and I called him back and I was crying, he definitely screamed at me to stop crying because "he can't deal with me when I cry". So I hung up, and then realized I should have called Chuck in the beginning.
He calmed me down, and got me home. Him and George were going to come looking for me if I didn't get home by 8. They are sweethearts.
Then, last night my Dad, him and I chatted the whole way home (via cell phone because he had to work until 7:30.). So yeah, my Dad seemed pretty cool last night. Who knows.
On a relationship note, I met a guy in my math class...Ooo yeah, he definitely goes to school in Cumberland too, so like Tuesday he walked me to class:-)
And no, for you bitches that like to say shit, he wasn't DRUNK!
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[27 Oct 2005|03:35pm] |
I'M PISSED BEYOND BELIEF...
I hate when people wait until the last minute!
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[22 Oct 2005|02:52pm] |
So I didn't get the white blazer that I was suppose to get at Stoudnour's....
Why?
BECAUSE I got a 1997 Jeep! Yes, it is hott. It is a 5-speed and is green. Excellent condition, and I got one hell of an offer on it because my Dad's friend owned it.
I should be getting the title switched over this week!
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[21 Oct 2005|02:51pm] |
News Flash: For all of you that didn't know, apparently the word out on the street is that I'm a whore. Yay for me, atleast I have a title!
*Bethany, we really need to talk...Oh do I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
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| Haha |
[17 Oct 2005|08:58am] |
I'm back home. It has been a month, and yeah, I missed being here at times.
Last night, Deann, Liz, Jenn, Nancy and I went to Perkins. Yeah, definitely came home at 2 this morning. It was awesome.
Oh wow, if you guys ONLY knew.
This weekend was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[25 Sep 2005|02:37pm] |
It's weird how when you go to college, everything changes (well duh, but you know).
I sometimes miss the girls, and I wonder if they think about me as much as I think about them.
I mean, I have my new friends now, but I still miss Trish and Kris like you wouldn't believe.
I've thought about calling them, but the last time I did, I felt like I was being a burden, so I haven't called since.
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| Quickie. |
[24 Sep 2005|01:36pm] |
It has been pretty much chaos here!
I haven't been home in like 4 days (other then to sleep).
Wednesday night I stayed with Bethany and Kev. Yeah, that was definately an interesting 24 hours. The phone calls never cease to amaze me. AND some people need to get over it and realize that we don't want bothered by them anymore.
She is starting to show more, its cute! I can't wait for baby Brown to arrive! Haha!
Other then that, nothing is really new. I go to school, go to work, come home and sleep. It's kind of stressful, but I need to do it. I have to get some bills paid off.
After the eventful evening with Betsy, Cass and Stef, I have been getting weird phone calls from some guy telling me he is a Chip and Dale's stripper. I wonder how many teeth he is missing, because I'm sure he'll never make it to be a Chip and Dale's!
I need to get ready for work now. Yeah, and what Jack always said was true...."Welcome to the real world girls..."
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[21 Sep 2005|08:42am] |
Had a great "girls night" last night...Yeah, it was pretty amusing..
There is nothing like looking at old yearbooks and counting the horrible mistakes!
"Damn Betsy...How did that go to what it looks like now? Holy shit I can't take it!"
"Get out the beer goggles girls cause thats the only way that would have happened!"
Cass: "You slept with like some of my family..."
Me: "Hell Cass I've probably slept with all of your family!
When a phone conversation starts out "...Well, I was watching porn with your cousin and....." it probably isn't going to end up very well!
Oh the joys of having my two big sis' back!!!!!!!!!!
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| Hectic-ness |
[17 Sep 2005|02:27pm] |
Things are SOOO hectic here...It's so hard to go to school, go to work right afterwards and then have any motivation what so ever to study afterwards...I kind of envy the spoiled little brats that have their parents hand them money that they need while they are in college...
Thursday morning my car wouldn't start, so my Gram had to take me to Cumberland and then to work where my Dad had to pick me up...Friday I was suppose to take my Dad's car to school but ended up losing my brakes going down over Weaver's so I had to go back home and get my car and baby it yesterday...The little bitch didn't give me one problem yesterday...She's so contemptable..
I never got home from work last night until 12, then I talked on the phone till like 1:30ish this morning...Now I have to go do the work thing again...I'm beginning to hate Breezewood, although I do get good tips...
Tomorrow is my last night at Eat's N Treats...In an odd way it is sad...They are like a family to me I suppose...Plus, when I worked there I could leave my house 15 minutes before starting time...Now I have to leave an hour and 15 minutes before hand!!!
I really hope to see someone tomorrow night...I enjoy his presense!!! And yeah, it's definately fun...Maybe we can arrange something tomorrow night after my Eat's N Treats fun?!?! *Muah!!*
Well I'm off to Breezewood...Bye kiddies!
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[12 Sep 2005|08:35am] |
I worked yesterday from 8-2, then again last night from 4-9.
Chuck brought me in stuff for my birthday, it was sweet, but geeked me out.
I came home and talked to Paul. Everything in that department is cool.
I then went to Carbon Township:D to visit a friend:P We ended up on the mountain and like, it never fails. EVERYTIME him and I go somewhere, we have nosy people that end up finding us. Is that like, not a coincidence. Then, I like drive past BJ's and low and behold he's standing outside. I was like, "Well aint this fucking peachy!"
Yeah, definately wasn't home at curfew, but it was DEFINATELY worth it. Oh, the joys of being me I suppose!
Off to school I go.
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[10 Sep 2005|10:07pm] |
*The worst thing in life is to lose a friend, a friend that means the world to you, a friend who you put all your trust and faith in, a friend that you believed in from the start, a friend that took the center of your heart, a friend that you would die for, a friend that you wanted to cherish for a lifetime, a friend, a good friend, a best friend*
This is the first time I've been home in awhile. That quote has something to do with what I'm going to write a little later. Anywho, Wednesday Betsy, Hayden and I went to Altoona. We had a GREAT time, and I love that girl so much, and her little boy for that matter. It is weird, because she is a part of my family, and I am a part of hers and we always have been. I care about her more then some of the people in my family and she DEFINATLY feels the same way about me. Yes...I heart her!
Thursday I went to school in Cumberland, then went to work. My first night wasn't bad and I must say that I work with some awesome people. Rob makes me laugh, and Krista, well she is just great, I love her to death and without her I'd NEVER be able to do this. She was telling me how some of the girls she trained didn't like her, but I can't see how ANYONE could have a problem with her.
Friday...Oh yes...It was the big one nine. Lucky me, huh? I feel old, well, not really. Anyways, Paul and I haven't been on good terms and we didn't talk all week. It was so hard not talking to him in school, but on Friday Ash and I were walking in and he was walking down the hall and said hi to her and such, and she walked into the bathroom. I was going to let everything go, and say something to him in English, but he came up to me and was like "hi" and I just looked at him and he said "Hey...Happy Birthday..." yeah, I definately lost it...I grabbed ahold of him and hugged him and said thank you and he was like "it is your birthday right?" and I was like yeah, and left go of him and told him we'd talk later. I didn't really cry, but a tear did come to my eye only because it hurt, but at the same time he took some of what he did to me away by those few little words. So in English I told him a few things, and then told him we'd discuss everything later. I feel better. So yeah, this is what the quote was about.
I worked this morning. It wasn't bad, I got out of there around 2 I do believe. I'm tired so I see me going to bed soon.
I went to the races for a little bit tonight, I watched the LLM heats and the sprint heats, then watched the SLM feature. Chuck sat with me, and like walked me out to my car and shit. I was a little freaked out, but I guess I'll live.
Anyhow, I work in the A.M. at "The Farm", then tomorrow night I'm at Eat's N Treats, so I'm going to bed! Night all;)
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[05 Sep 2005|12:15pm] |
Last night I worked. Tommy was in. I should have known that my day wouldn't be good after seeing him.
Came home from work, went to Zach's. That was fun, he makes me laugh, but the whole "I'm white but think I'm black" act pisses me off at times.
I then came home and was talking to Steph and Paul. Yeah, that ended up down the drain after Steph filled me in on some shit that had been said about me.
The one person, the one GUY that I trusted with everything, that I knew wouldn't hurt me, ended up hurting me more then Chris ever did. Here I was, going to Paul about everything that Chris did, and Paul would give me his little pep talks and tell me that everything would be okay and yada yada. Here, when it comes down to it, he did the same thing to me behind my back. Atleast Chris had the decency to do it to my face. I told him last night that I hate him and never want him to talk to me again, and eventually he replies with "We'll talk about this in person." and also goes on to tell me that I was being a bitch. Why should I even talk to him, why should I want to ever see him again? Why is he the one that I want here right now being here for me? Maybe its because he always knew what to say, and how to make me stop crying. Well, that isn't happening this time because I've been crying since 1 this morning. I think I had every right to be a bitch last night, and I still think I have that right after the shit he did......
I was reading through past entries today and stumbled upon this from August 8th....
"I can honestly say that the only guy that I can ever trust is Paul, and thats only because he's like my brother and I know he wouldn't do this shit. He would come to me straight up and tell me, instead of going to someone else."
Damn....I was completely wrong..........
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[04 Sep 2005|12:07pm] |
Yesterday was definately a good day (well...sort of...)
I was scheduled to work 12-8, but the little bitch Candy decided that she was "sick" (her parents were having a party) and that she couldn't stay until close, so I had to stay until 9 and cover for her. Well, I called my Mom to tell her and no one answered. When I came back in from smoke break my Mom was on the phone and told me that one of the jobs I had applied to called me back. So yeah, I definately had to call them back last night and I have an interview on Tuesday at 6:30:) I'm so excited. If I get this job, that means I get my apartment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then Dad and I went to Hesston last night after I got off the phone with Delores.
Definate good night.
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[03 Sep 2005|11:35am] |
School wasn't bad yesterday. Ash and I had fun on our rides up and back. God that girl makes me laugh.
Paul was acting "normal" with me yesterday. Maybe because I was ignoring him? Lol.
"Paul...Why are you looking at me?"
"Because I asked you how you were doing and you have yet to answer me!"
Oh hell.
Work last night and it wasn't bad.
Went to see Mandi and Dustin at the campsite last night. It was pretty fun. It is nice just to sit and chat with my sis. I heart her!!!!!!!!!!!
Work I go. 12 - 8. Wish me luck!
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| *sighs* |
[01 Sep 2005|04:58pm] |
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music |
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Staind - Everything Changes |
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I seriously hate this.
I hate Allegany, not the school or the people because everything is nice. But I hate knowing that I chose that college for all the wrong reasons, and I hate having to drive every fucking day for 45 minutes and some days even more. I hate that gas is going to be $5 by next Friday and that it took me $30 yesterday to fill my car up at $2.79.
I hate driving to Maryland because it is the most boring trip ever, and since it's so long, I have time to think and all I do is think about those memories.
I hate the fact that I go to school with Sara and when she sees me, all I hear about is her brother and his girlfriend, and how she brings him home Sunday nights to get stuff for work that week since him and the rest of the dickhead clan work at the beach, but how much she'd rather see him with me because I'm the only one she has liked (so she says).
I hate being in Everett because I know, I just know, one of these days I will run into him, and I don't think I can handle it. I hate knowing that I chose the Everett campus just because at the time him and I were together and we were "always going to be together".
Somedays I hate the fact that I look for reason to destroy any bit of happiness he will ever have, but at the same time relish in it because he did it to me for so long.
Have I yet mentioned that I hate almost everything around me?
God. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ! ! ! ! !
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| Update.. |
[29 Aug 2005|06:03pm] |
Mandi is fine and so is the baby.
They took her in this morning and did a sonagram. The baby is there (although it looks like a grape!), but its little heart is beating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Zachary Ryan Stetchock |
[28 Aug 2005|12:05pm] |
Hm, oddly enough he is my title today.
Why?
Well, last night I was on the phone with, well, Chuck and my phone beeped at 11:30. I was confused because the ONLY person who EVER calls me that late is Jason, so of course my heart dropped because I thought it was him. But, it wasn't. It was Zach.
I haven't talked to him in like months. It was a good chat though, and lasted a good hour and half. He's suppose to call me today to go do something. So yeah, I'm excited:)
School tomorrow. SHOOT ME..
I've heard the excuse "I was drunk." like 8 times this weekend. It makes me sick. Being drunk IS NOT an excuse for everything, its just a cop out. Real truth comes out when you are drunk.
The End.
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| Update.. |
[27 Aug 2005|01:20pm] |
Tuesday - Betsy and Hayden came over in the morning and we messed around on here with her pictures of Hayden, and the pictures from when she was pregnant.
Orientation was Tuesday night. Mom and Dad went with me. Yeah, Mom was DEFINATELY talking to Jackie, and she was being nice to her (probably cuz at the time she didn't know who she was). I talked to Sara for awhile, and I guess some night her and I are gonna go do something. I miss her, we always were friends (other then when dickhead would turn her against me) Paul and I talked, things are back to norm. AND we have a library for library time:)Him, Ash and I are all going to ride to school together.
Wednesday - Work, and thats about it.
Thursday - Went to Altoona with Betsy and Hayden in the morning. Got some new underware and bras from JCPenny's. Also got a few new shirts for school.
I worked Thursday from 3 - close. It actually wasn't bad. We changed the doorbell tone so that when the door opened, it played the 12 days of Christmas. Jack didn't like it, but we did.
I came home after work and got ready and went to my Gram's to stay.
Friday - Got up at 5:30 to get ready to go to Cumberland for another orientation. Got there around 7:30, met a guy (oddly enough his name was PAUL!). Chatted for awhile, got our ID's taken, and I left since I already went through 1 orientation.
I left Cumberland at 9, and got back to Bedford at like 9:30. I went to get something to eat, then went shopping AGAIN. I got 4 new bras/underware from Fashion Bug, and a new pair of boots from Payless. Yeah, they are hott. They go to my knee and are like 6 inches high.
Went back to Gram's and spent the day with her and my Sister. We went through old baby stuff!
Bethany and I were suppose to do something last night, but I couldn't get ahold of her. So, I came home and went to the races with my Dad and nephew. I drove from here to like, Everett but felt like I was going to pass out, so pulled over and left Dad drive. Since it was raining so bad, we went out to eat, and by then the races had been cancelled so we went to Roaring Spring and rented movies.
I rented "Love's Enduring Promise" and "Wild Things". They were both good movies, but I LOVED "Love's Enduring Promise", it made me cry.
Now I have to work today at 4.
The end.
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[24 Aug 2005|03:19pm] |
I hate you.
You weren't an exception.
You never will be.
That no longer matters.
It's done, and over with.
There's so much I want to tell you, but at the same time, you aren't worth the air you breath, or the time that it would take for me to tell you to rott in hell.
The night I stayed there wasn't even worth it!
I'm glad school starts Monday. Atleast I'll be in a different area then this fucking place.
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| *sighs* |
[22 Aug 2005|10:42pm] |
Things can't get much more confusing.
Work completely blows, and I want to quit, but my Dad won't let me.
I can't take the bullshit there anymore.
I can't stand not getting sleep because I hate my job.
I can't stand that when I do sleep, I have nightmares.
Stress eats at me.
I cried to my mother for 2 hours today. Then when they came to see me at work, I cried some more.
I'll probably cry again when I go upstairs.
I don't want to go to school on Monday, but I have to.
I miss Paul, and I want one of our study halls chats god damnit.
Betsy and Hayden are coming over in the morning. I'm going up at 11 to pick them up.
I love Hayden, and I love Betsy.
I stayed at Mindy's last night and met her boyfriend Chase. He is an odd character but he treats her good. I get to use her house whenever I wish.
The end.
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| Hmp. |
[18 Aug 2005|10:55pm] |
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Well I don't understand once again, and I guess I'm not suppose to?
I'm so not ready for the weeks to come.
Ash M. and I are planning on going out Tuesday after orientation and having a little fun.
I'm staying at Mindy's on Sunday night. We are going to go over to her boyfriends so that I can meet him!
Jeremy Fockler is engaged.
Tonight was Kristi's last night at work. It was really depressing because now I realize that I have to put up with the bullshit there all by myself and I don't really enjoy the thought of it.
It also made me think that maybe I should have taken all my classes in Maryland, and just got a dorm down there. Maybe things would be easier if I was away from here.
I wouldn't have to sit in this house, the house that constantly reminds me of my past and the memories that I made in this house. Memories that I can't get out of my mind, and can't help to think that certain things could have been prevented by just taking Travis' advice 5 years ago.
A part of me wants to transfer to WVU too, just for the fact that its not Everett, and it's not Maryland. Both places are a huge part of my past, and I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I'm not strong enough for that.
Nights like tonight I wish Joe was here.
Nights like tonight I miss you more then anything, and hearing your voice would just make it go away, but at the same time I know that it would only hurt more in the end.
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[18 Aug 2005|12:05am] |
Due to excitement in my life, I didn't update about my Monday off.
Yes, it consisted of helping my cousin move into her new house since her husband and her are getting a divorce. It was Kim, Danelle, Darrin, Aunt Ruth, some guy and his three girls, Colby and me. It wasn't a bad day. It was a long day, but it wasn't horrible. Darrin and I got to use Uncle Roy's truck and it was amusing because Darrin rips the hell out of vehicles, and yeah I can guarentee that Uncle Roy doesn't. Darrin brought me home around 4ish, so I then got ready and went to Betsy's.
I love that girl so much! We sat and watched a movie and chit chatted. Around 8 we went to her Mom's, then took Hayden to my sister's at 9:30 so she could see him. Then I took her home at 10:30 and I came home.
Since I updated about yesterday, I'll skip that.
Today, I went to Bethany's and we went shopping a little, then came back to her house and looked through baby names. We then went to her doctor's appointment and they think that she's 16 weeks pregnant, but they will know for sure on the 29th when they do the sonagram.
We went back to Everett, I got my car and went back to Martinsburg to hang out with Rick a little.
It was a good night.
It has been a good week.
I heart my friends and I don't want to go to school.
Ooo, I bought a new comforter today. It is pink and has hearts all over it. I also bought the new Staind cd. Yeah, its pretty cool.
The end.
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[14 Aug 2005|01:57pm] |
Work was busy last night, but wasn't that bad.
I had visitors when I first got there. Yeah, kind of put a damper on the mood.
Then there were 3 guys in who had some kind of pass bracelet on and had ripped them off, then decided they wanted them back on. So yeah, I had to tape them back on for them. It was actually amusing. I do believe they were pretty drunk.
I was looking at pictures from the races. I miss SOME of the guys:/
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| Full House. |
[12 Aug 2005|11:11pm] |
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music |
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Over and Over |
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I was watching "Full House" tonight when I got off work. It was an episode where Jesse went to his 10 year class reunion and he ran into his ex girlfriend. They danced, and he ended up leaving and having second thoughts about wanting to marry Becky. His ex then showed up at the house and he went out on the porch and they ended up kissing. He then told her that the past was the past and that it should stay like that, that it was definately over.
It is weird how one kiss can tell you if you should try again, or if you should just let go.
I was going to elaborate, but I'll just let it go. Like I should do with some other things.
Oh, I forgot earlier but Jeff won me a stuffed gorilla last night. It's purple. Betsy and I have matching ones and Hayden has an orange one! They are cute!
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| Okay... |
[12 Aug 2005|11:23am] |
Let's see here. Last night Betsy, Jeff and I went for wings. It was a good time. Jeff is so funny, and yeah they both definately make me laugh. We might go to rock-a-bowl on Saturday night, but I don't know yet. Jeff said he wants to take me to the place in Altoona where they get wings because he thinks I'd like it.
I talked to someone last night. Things were all fine and dandy until he put one of his nice away messages up. I had asked him when I get to see him again and he was like "I don't know" then told me he was going to bed, and well, his away message was like all about a girl, so it kind of pissed me off because he sits there and is all like "I don't want a girlfriend" but yet has about this girl and how happy she makes him? WTF?
Yeah boys suck.
Talked on the phone till like 1 something this morning. It was fun.
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[11 Aug 2005|10:30am] |
"I'm standing there, about 4 feet away from him and he says 'Drop your pants and turn around' and I was like 'What the hell are you gunna do?' and he said he was like gonna check me for hemmoriods or something and I was like 'Well are you gonna do it front or back' and he was like 'Front' so I asked him if he was going to grab my nuts and make me cough. I was worried, he looked gay to begin with and I didn't want him like shoving his fingers up there or anything." - Jeff on his doctor's appt.
Haha definate great times with Betz and her boy!
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[11 Aug 2005|10:25am] |
Ricky left me a text last night. I wonder what he wanted.
I have to work today. I feel like I'm going to get bitched at for asking off on Monday.
Oh well.
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| Hmm. |
[10 Aug 2005|10:24pm] |
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music |
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Since U Been Gone |
] |
I went and got my books today. I was pissed because when I got down there, they told me that I could have got them at Everett. So yeah, pissed me off.
Betsy's dog was hit this morning, so we buried Tiny tonight. Well, actually I babysat while they made Tiny a box and decorated it to bury him in. RIP Tiny!
Hayden is so adorable though, and he definately keeps me laughing.
Jeff had an interview for WS Lee and Sons today so he didn't go to work which meant he got back to Betz parents' house around 7. He was pretty cool tonight, he might go for wings with us tomorrow night, but he isn't sure yet.
My stomach is upset. I want to vomit.
I have to help Kim move on Monday, so yeah, I had to ask for the day off. I'm sure this is going to go over well.
Went over to Lara's today to see her and Cole. We showed each other prom pictures, bullshitted for awhile and that was basically it.
Listened to Stef talk about Ronnie all night. Yeah, drove me about half nuts, but its cool because atleast I still have Stef and Betsy to talk to.
I'm tired, so I think I'm going to go to bed here directly.
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| Hehe |
[09 Aug 2005|10:17am] |
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music |
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Last Dance With Mary Jane |
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Ash and I went and put in applications yesterday. It depressed me, so yeah, we quit like an hour after we started. She got hired at the Landmark.
I went to Betsy's mom's last night to see Betz, then we ended up going back over to her house and making pizza and watching movies. God love little Hayden, seeing him just makes me happy. He's SOO tiny, although he has gained the weight that he should be. He is now 10 lbs and 5 ozs. Ang called last night so in the middle of the conversation I stole Hayden again and we went in to the living room and played, then I fed him AGAIN and he ended up falling asleep. God love the boy, he was sooo tired but kept fighting it.
I'm going up tomorrow night I do believe, and then Thursday night we are going to Lakemont and such. It should be fun times.
Besty and I discussed last night that I'm going to have a little girl and we are going to arrange their marriages, and like, make them make us beautiful grandkids! LOL
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| Question and Answer |
[08 Aug 2005|12:29am] |
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music |
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Since You Been Gone |
] |
I could really go for a Paul chat right now. One of those study hall chats where I could just hug him and cry, because he was the one who always made me feel better. And for tonight, I'm over what happened between us and it wasn't stupid, it was bound to happen. Right now though, I just need one of those chats, one of those hugs and most of all, Paul..Because he always finds a way to make it right, no matter how wrong it is..
Why? Why does it always come back to this? I can't let well enough alone, and I always have to find the answers to things that I know I don't want to hear, I know the answers deep down, and when I do hear them from someone else, it hurts.
Nights like these are the nights that I regret everything I've done (or haven't done for that matter) in the past three years. I think back, that if I wouldn't have met Jason in 2000, that things wouldn't be like they are now, and that I wouldn't have sank to this level. Not everything was a mistake, but the majority of it was. God, it took me 4 plus years to get out of that, and I regret it taking so long. I refuse to let it happen like that again with another guy.
I keep adding numbers to the "Guys I hate list" and it has proven to be all of them but Paul, and in the end I realize its not them I hate, it's myself. I hate myself for letting them make me feel this way, and most of all, I hate myself because its a change of scenery from hating everyone else. It is just easier to blame them for the pain they inflict, but really its my fault.
I can honestly say that the only guy that I can ever trust is Paul, and thats only because he's like my brother and I know he wouldn't do this shit. He would come to me straight up and tell me, instead of going to someone else.
I think that was what I wanted to prove. I don't think I needed answers, I just think I wanted to see if he would discuss the situation with someone, and he did. I hate that. But at the same time, that is hypocritical of me because if Doug were to ask me something, I would have told him, but in the end it wouldn't have hurt Ricky because as he proved tonight, he doesn't give a shit. But damn, he sure did have a way of playing me for what it was worth, but hey, I was warned wasn't I? Yes, yes I was.
A part of me thinks that I should let him explain, or that this was my fault because it was discussed as we would be friends only in the beginning, but I was lead to believe differently last week. I left him two messages, one that I can't remember, and one that I don't care to disclose. I don't care if it pisses him off either, because right now, I'm the one thats hurt not him.
"The only guy a girl can trust is her Daddy."
"You can't lose something you never had."
You had your chance, you blew it. Out of sight, out of mind. Shut your mouth I just can't take it. Again and Again and again...
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| Depressed. |
[06 Aug 2005|11:55pm] |
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music |
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Good Riddence |
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I'm depressed tonight.
I drove the shadow to Altoona yesterday (manual), and then I drove it to Bedford last night.
Dad, Zach and I went to the races. We sat with Maylin, Micah and the "little boy" as we call him. It was okay, but I miss Wade.
I'm depressed. Have I mentioned that yet?
I called Ashley yesterday, she never called me back. Come to think of it, she hasn't called me at all. Hmp...?
I saw Paul last night.
Becky is going to talk to Ricky tomorrow.
The end.
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| Thoughtful.. |
[02 Aug 2005|11:14pm] |
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music |
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I Wanna Love You Forever |
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Yet another 8/1 has passed, and actually I only thought about it twice. Once when I was writing the date down at work, and right before I went to bed. This year I didn't cry, I guess that shows that it's over and done with? I hope so. It has been three years since then, and a lot of things have changed. I guess for the better.
Anywho, I forgot to update about this (how could I forget something this big I have no clue!) but anyways, my sister is pregnant. She officially found out on Friday, so yes, this means another addition to the family. I'm excited, but at the same time I feel bad for my nephews (step nephews, but they are still mine!!!!!!!!!!)
I think I might end up staying at Mindy's on Thursday night, it depends on what she's doing Friday morning.
I'm going next Wednesday to get my books.
My Gram and Pap came down tonight.
My Pap Fouse was here tonight as well.
I have heartburn.
And I miss him! *wink wink*
Paul and I had a good talk the other night. Yes, definately did and I feel 110 percent better with that situation!
Oh, and Chris Sipes is the biggest dickhead ever and I wish him nothing more then a life of on going suffering. Okay, so I'm a bitch, but I have EVERY right to be. If you read this, I hate you!
To everyone else, have a good day.
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